This is what happens to me

All of the time. It really bothers me but IT happens. It is called disassociation.

dis·so·ci·a·tion

diˌsōSHēˈāSH(ə)n,diˌsōsēˈāSH(ə)n/

noun

1. the disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected.

   "the dissociation between the executive and the judiciary is the legacy of the Act of Settlement"

   synonyms:

   separation, disconnection, detachment, severance, divorce, split; More

   • PSYCHIATRY

     separation of normally related mental processes, resulting in one group functioning independently from the rest, leading in extreme cases to disorders such as multiple personality.

     plural noun: dissociations

     
     

     From my experiences: I loose track of time. I find myself someplace I don't know how I got there. I feel like I am drifting away to someplace else. 

     There are times when I write things and I know that I did. I go to find then, and it's gone. It is as if something happened to them. It is erased or deleted from existence. It bothers me a great deal. Some things are important to me, and then it disappears. 

     Dissociation doesn't just stop there for me. People in my world will say things that I supposibly said, and I won't remember saying those things. They will talk about places I went with no recollection of even being there. It is as if a force beyond my control is stealing a major part of my life away.

     Some of the disassociation causes me problems. Things will be said that hurt others and I won't recall saying that. Things will come out of my mouth that people will find out are not true in the present time. I get accused of lying. It pushes people away. 

     I wish I could just turn off disassociation. It rattles other people in my life and people get angry with me for "lying". I loose things easily. 

     Recently,  I thought I wrote something and suddenly it was gone. It just disappeard. I could not get it back and I wanted it. It is frustrating and it hurts. 

     All the emails that were written by "me" and I don't remember writing them. Then people are upset that I wrote them. They come back to me and I don't remember these. I say, "I didn't write this."

     People will say I did. It's under my IP address. It is my writing. Eat. It happens also with words that come from my mouth. I wish I could make it go away. I can't. 
     I want my life. I want a good life. Unfortunately, it is being consumed by "IT". It is eating away my existence. My written words that I want to keep... Gone. Forever...
     Replaced by some terrible thing that burns others. Forever, does IT rob me... Of the happiness I seek.