The Accident

Some of you all know that the Spcial Needs Bus I am assisting on was involved in an accident yesterday. What you don't know is that I am experiencing PTSD related effects.
Stress tends to bring this out in trauma survivors, especially those with Complex PTSD such as my own. I already also live with a personality Disorder and managing emotions are very difficult for me to do.
I am still on "high alert" today. My father died when I was very young so.. Any accident.. Especially one in which directly effects me or my family, impact me in a very big way. It really isn't about "what could have happened". It's about what DID happen to me in the past.

Now I want to tell you a LOT of people have told me some things that follow:

Get over it.
You can't change it.
Quit living in the past.
Get yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
Pray about it.
Give it to God.
Let him go.
Write a letter.
You haven't done enough to get past it.

These are just a few words I have heard from others. None of these help. They have hurt me more than they have helped.
I am not trying to get anyone's attention. I am in pain. Emotional pain. Pain in which just doesn't go away. I have tried everything people have suggested. I am not choosing to keep this. I have said goodbye.
I also want to tell you that having your daddy taken away so quickly at a very young age has left an imprint on my mind. The horror of it all.. So suddenly.. Right after my sisters death.. Was extrodianrily difficult for a 6 year old little girl who didn't have the adult capabilities to process such an event.
There is more too... More that I won't post here... Not that I will write. Very personal things that were also transporting in my family. Things that were "too much" for a little girl to take in. This is why I am having such a difficult time right now. I am hurting.., and frightened. The accident has kick started some flashbacks that I can not shake.. And anxiety which has enveloped every fiber of my being.
Even though it was yesterday.. I am still on high alert. Sigh. I wish someone would just hear me........