I know of a time when things on online support forums, Facebook, and written networks would bother me immensely. One time In wrote about the Masonic Lodge in a support group. It immediately got deleted. I was told it was "triggering". I was reminded of their rules. This hurt me. I was very angry. I felt as if I was being shunned and disallowed. My very existence as far as being a member of this group was on the line and I did not want to be kicked out. I reacted very strongly to this. I was removed from this particular support line because of my angry outbursts of hurtful words written. To this day, I am still not allowed to write anything here.
This used to bother me a lot. I felt terrible and left out. I felt as if I had ruined it all. I felt "bad" and guilty.
I don't feel this way about it anymore. The negative feelings I held against the group have faided. It IS their group. They make the rules, I don't. I have continued to stay in this online group for quite a while. I am a member to this day. My feelings have changed. I still do not have access to certain areas of this group. That is fine. I did not decide that.
Things have changed a little on Facebook as well. I don't feel so attacked. That has lessened a great deal. I admit that some things I read online have gotten the best of me. I have reacted. For the most part, if people disengage, delete me from their friends list, or don't accept me as their friend on Facebook... So be it. Those things don't get to me like they did.
Words spoken... Well... I am working on that. I realize that when someone says something it gets turned around in my head to be something completely different. It is much like the written words which I see progress in. There is still work to be done as far as my own reactions and responses.
I don't like it when people get angry with me. I don't like it when I feel miserable either.
I am still working hard in these areas... Have you noticed a difference?
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