The Ending of EMDR

I started this blog much like I had started a different blog. I started it with a new therapist and a new type of therapy, EMDR DNMS.
I have received news that my therapist is resigning the "team" either temporarily or permanently. I am completely devastated. I found this out Wednesday October 5, 2016. I still have tears and emense sadness. Even though I am not sure it is permanent.. the ending feels like that. It feels as though I am forced to have a funeral I am totally unprepared for. I am loosing something.. someone important in my life. It hurts incredibly bad.
My therapist has offered to see me until the end of October. That doesn't seem like enough time to prepare. Who really is prepared to lose someone important?
It is all so hard.. and one sided. I don't have a clue how she feels. All I can speak of is my own pain.
A lheraputic relationship isn't designed for her to be my friend. It isn't even designed for us to have contact if this were to end permanently. I would just not "see" her anymore. No contact. No anything.
It isn't like my friends moving away. I can still call them.. even write them.. or visit. This isn't like that. She isn't my friend. It's the therapeutic relationship that denies us that.
So the loss is all one sided. She has learned to just move on.. and I.. well I will too. It's all so so difficult and painful.
I feel like I am repeating some terrible pain.. that repeats itself continuously in my life. I hate this pain.. this sorrow. I can't write enough about how painful it is.
Kathy Broady writes about it on her blog at: https://discussingdissociation.com/2009/11/10/when-you-suddenly-lose-your-therapist/
I feel a lot of what she writes about.
This isn't the first loss of therpist I have had. There have been others that have been painful as well... ending because of either something about me or just because the therapist retired. It's been the same sorrow. The same immense pain.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone.. ever!
I am trying my best to get by.. and still live my life. The world goes silently on despite this. I wish I could change what's happening. I can't. I wish my therapist wouldn't have to do this. She is. All the wishing isn't going to change what is. I am grieving... and I am not sure this blog will not die. After all it all started with this new therapist.. and now it's ending.
This sucks! Very sad.....😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢