The End

Well... it's over. Very painful and still not happy. Far from it. 

Julie cried. We cried. It was that kind of session. There was a point where we were talking about the packing up.. and sealing off for eternity. It is as if there is this suitcase that everyone and every thing is packed into. We ARE VERY good at the packing up thing. We have done it repeatedly throughout this pathetic life. 

Julie said she didn't think the system was going to allow that. At least, not for ever, Oh yeah? This hurts way too much for this to happen again. We just won't. We won't. Not ever again. She tried the will you allow me to keep it contained thing but, there is no trust in anyone now. Not EVER again. This hurts too much. 

We are sealing off...

for good. 

Doesnt mean the end of our life.. but it does mean we are finished trying aiming for healing. It doesn't exist on this planet for us. Not in this lifetime. No hope left.. the seal is shut. We are "packed up" for good.