I am going to paste a copy of a letter that was received from Kathy Broady. At this point in time, I don't care who reads this. She is correct.
I have been through a lot. So has my children. They have their own history of trauma. They encountered an abusive fatherand a mentally ill mother.
My brother was one of my abusers and I choose to admit that part of my past in this place. My children spent time without me in his care, I have had no information regarding whether or not they were hurt by him or not.
Whether they admit to my childrens past or want to address it is not in my control. I am definitely in a better place than I have been in the last few days.
Here is what Kathy Broady wrote:
Sounds to me, Jill People, that it's time to stop worrying about what other people think and have more confidence in what you believe and know to be true for yourselves.
You very much resonate with being multiple. You present as different selves, you switch within yourself, you know your insiders by name and personality, you identity clearly as being a plurality. You remember an extensive trauma history. These things have been true for you for years. The only other criteria is having some unexplained time loss. However, at this stage in your therapy, your time loss should be less and less and less, so having ongoing time loss now isn't as important diagnostically as it was back when you first recognized your multiplicity.
By now, after all your years of hard work and system communication, any damnesia (no typo, that's my word for it, ha), and black outs, and unawareness of where you are should be minimal. It shouldn't be a big big problem like it can be in the early days. It might not be a problem now, but I bet you can come up with numerous examples in your life where various parts of you experienced damnesia and didn't remember what was going on at the exact time it was happening.
If you weren't experiencing less time loss now, after all your years of hard work, that to me, would be a giant red flag. So the fact that you have less time loss now only indicates your progress in your healing. Afterall, let's remember... you weren't diagnosed last month or last year. You SHOULD be progressing, and this is one area of proof that you are.
However, you still feel- see- experience yourself as being very multiple, with different people inside, with different names, different personalities, different strengths, different memories, etc. You have an internal world. Singletons don't have that.
Pat -- is clearly and without any doubt -- clearly separate and distinct from the rest of the Jill People. Even basing it only on Pat, you meet the criteria of having multiples lives. Pat is very different from Chief. But, it only takes 2, right? I can easily name three. Pat, Chief, and Jill. .... hmmmm.... is there even a Jill?
And if there's not even a Jill, OR if there are many Jill's ... what does that say about how split and shattered you've been?
Who cares if you don't blow out electronics?? Since when was that ever a "diagnostic requirement" for DID? It's not. It just happens for some people. But it's hardly an essential element to be dissociative or DID.
I'd be willing to bet that your personality test results change based on who takes the test, and what season of year it is. As we've discussed, Jill People -- you have different system groups around at different seasons of the year. Their answers are not likely to be the same.
In my eBook, 101+ Ways to See DID, I'm sure that everyone does NOT experience everything 100% of the time. Let me ask it this way for you. Looking back through the years of time.... Have you experienced most of those things at some point in your life???
Make 2 lists of the items you have experienced in your life:
A) at any point in time in your life
😎 at this current stage in your life.
Compare them. How are those lists different or the same?
Remember.... how your dissociation looks today compared to 10 years ago when you were diagnosed (or whenever that was), should be much much different. You should not still appear the same as a brand new DID person just figuring out their multiplicity. Some of that stuff shouldn't be as much of a problem today for you as it may have been at other times.
Again.... regarding your daughter....
EITHER tell her more details, and let her meet your different inside people face-to-face..... stop "faking" being not-multiple, and be ready to wear whatever consequences that brings....
OR... don't worry about it. Your daughter is not very open-minded about it, for whatever reason, and who knows... maybe the harder you push, the more blind she'll be. I don't know what her resistance is about. Sounds like it's her problem. At this day and age, it's absolutely ludicrous and ridiculous for people to refuse to accept the reality of DID. It's just close-mindedness. It's like insisting the world is flat because you haven't been up in a rocket-ship to see for yourself that the earth is a sphere.
Again, I have to ask you -- is there any reason from HER history that she would need to be blocking things out, and might she be fighting against her own internal splittings?
Her OWN defensiveness is probably more likely the problem here.
I only ask that because of the ongoing nature of your trauma, Jill People. It's taken you well into adulthood to fight for some safety away from your family.
Do you know for sure and for sure and for sure that your daughters were safe from the cult / family trauma, especially back when they were young children? Do you hope this to be the case? Or do you KNOW this to be the case? Because... with generational cults... it's pretty common for young girls to be traumatized. And it's pretty common for daughters (like you) to have to bring in their own daughters.
You weren't necessarily "safe or free" when your daughters were little, Jill. And frankly, to my understanding of your historical time-line, you were not free and clear and safely away from your family cult when your daughters were young. I could be wrong about that -- and I hope I am -- but if you are still fighting for your own personal safety in your 40's-50's.... what makes you think you were able to keep your daughters safe when you were in your 20's??
One of the very very very hardest questions for you to honestly examine throughout your entire system will be whether or not your own children were involved and abused in some of their early childhood years.
I don't have the answers to these questions.
I have to ask them tho'. And the hardest work will be for you to find the 100% truthful answers.
Deep within your system, you know. Check and check with everyone about this.
Where were you when your daughters were young, and how much awareness do you have about what was happening during that time of your life?
Who was active in your system at that time?
Who knows if your brother has had ANY interaction with your young daughters?
So don't get lost on the surface stuff.
Dig deeper.
And for goodness sakes, ALL the Jill People.... stop giving mental health professionals so much clout about your diagnosis. YOU KNOW who you are. Whether those professionals understand it or not, is their problem, not yours.
Be strong in yourself. Hold dear to your truths. Don't let the wind blow you around so much.
Hold tight --
Thank you
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