Gesh. Insanity. Watching every little word I type or say out of fear. Fear I will say something wrong or bad. Fear someone will be mad at me and cut me out of their lives forever. Oh my God! These abandonment issues suck! Big time!
I changed my Facebook settings so that only I can see my posts. I am being super careful of what I say or write. I feel like a fake.
This is not us! We said we would be brave like our friend Genesis who committed suicide. We were to honor her by being brave. Brave enough to speak out about our diagnosis. Brave enough to speak at all.
It's all gone now. Gone. It feels like somehow we failed Genesis.
So sorry Genesis. So very sorry.
Hurting so badly right now and even this place seems scary.. like we can't even go there and talk about what is bugging us. Ouch!
We feel trapped and scared.
What are we to do? When we speak.. then we did something wrong. We lashed out.. and hurt someone we ❤️. Sigh.
The very vulnerable needy littles are around. They just don't want to loose anyone else. Yet.. we are trying to get attention? Well of course they are. They are left alone...
So finding it difficult and feeling very upset because we have to do this. Not sure.. and very lonely... sigh.. feeling like somehow we let our friend down.
We soowee Gen
We mis u
💔
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