Self defeating??

Sigh..
Going through something right now and it may be self defeating.
Went into email and reading past pages about Julie.
Yes, Julie. If you ever read this.. I still hurt.  Still.
My littles are aching.. sobbing .. why?? why??!
I try to comfort them., rocking and giving what they might need.
Still there.. sobbing why..

Communication comes .. not from Julie.. and more tears now sobbing..

How could anyone possibly think of us? How?

More tears..
Pain

And wondering now
Why

Was all this self defeating????

It isn't about the message from someone sending an email..
Just wondering if going through Julie's email is self defeating????

Sigh