Feeling extremely low, depressed and worn out. Muscles are sore all over. Extremely tired.
Woke up this morning with very poor vision especially in the left eye. It's all blurry and can barely make shapes out. It really is depressing to have gone through so much wit the hope that the eyesight would improve and it is worsening.
Hearing people say that focusing on problems didn't feel very good. Back to feeling like a pain in the ass and don't want to be.
In tears this morning because of the physical and emotional pain.
Spent a great deal of time yesterday exploring the internet looking for a fast way to die. Won't tell anyone this anymore because it seems like people think that this is about attention or focused on problems.
Tired. Tired of being like this. Tired of the battle that isn't being won, Tired of the disease that is supposed to,be manageable.. and can't seem to get a handle on it. Tired of having a mental illness that is supposed to be manageable too. Having more bad days than good. Mostly tired of being tired.
There seems to be very little of me left any more.
Not telling people anymore about anything. There isn't anything anyone can do and they are tired of hear it....
Yuck.... not liking this
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